findinglean.com

I talk about my weight loss over Christmas, my New Year’s Resolutions, and more. Sorry about the rambled tangent.

~rev (311 pounds)

Yes I said 40. So I’m down to a size 48 and at the rate I’m moving again after a small plateau I’m very likely to see 44 or even 42 by the end of January but I don’t want to get ahead of myself I do however want to push a small update about the last couple weeks as I likely wont post here again until after the new year. So here goes…

I’m down to 220 pounds so while I’ve only lost a couple pounds since my December 3rd update I’ve lost as many inches from my waist, actually more perhaps. I’m down an astonishing 36 inches  since this journey began…and even this morning as I put on my now size 48 pants I held them in front of me and simply could not believe I’d get then on let alone button and zip them up..but the truth is I’m a loose 48 and can put on a size 46 though they are too tight to wear at the moment. And I just can’t believe it. I bought these jeans at a thrift store as I’ve either been buying them at goodwill or thrift shops for a while now because I can’t wear them for too long. (6 weeks is the longest so far) and I have 3 pair of size 54’s to either take to goodwill or at some point when I’m near Nashville again I can drop them off at Vanderbilt @ 100 Oaks for the clothing drive for other pre or post surgery candidates who might need them.

I mentioned already I’m working out 3 days a week, well I’ve recently started adding some Yoga to the mix though I’d hardly call what I’m doing yoga I have been doing the plank challenge and so far I’m up to about 30 seconds. Each day I honestly feel better than the last and my heart rate when doing cardio is staying around 145bpm which for me is pretty fantastic. But my journey isn’t over, it’s only just getting started.

So shifting focus from health and weigh-ins to something more personal. I’ve been quite social again over the last few months (increasingly so as time goes on) but I recently started dating..and while I’m not really in a point in my life for anything serious it has been quite nice to just go out, be social and be…well me again I guess. I’ve also launched a podcast network and we shot our first podcast last weekend (the episode is live so go check it out) though I must warn you it’s not entirely safe for work as my co-host and I dropped one or two f-bombs. The podcast we started is around geek culture and I’m working to launch a political podcast as well to pick up where one of my old blogs left off years ago as well as many others. I’m really working to build an entire network of podcasts, some of which will hopefully last. and while it took much longer than I wanted it to thatstupidpodcast.com is finally launched and under way.

On a more personal note and I’ve really not been very personal lately I wanted to just ramble on about a few things so bare with me… I recently turned 36 (or as many of my girl type friends might call it 29) and for the first time in about 8 years or so I feel blessed. Coming from someone who suffers form depression my weight has always been somewhere in my thoughts, either up front and obvious or hidden pushed away and repressed, but always there. For the (honestly) first time in my entire life that I can remember my weight is in the front of my mind but not in a negative connotation, No instead I’m feeling liberated and confident about who I am and how I look. Am I still over 300 pounds? Sure but it doesn’t bother me anymore because I know it’s moving in the right direction and I feel great and I don’t even care about the actual number. While I’m using it as a way to pave milestones in my journey, and I’ve said this in the past, the end game if you will…that “final magical weight” loss number is completely irrelevant to me. I’m already happy and I’m already in a good place and sure I know I’ll need surgery again, this time to get rid of all the extra fleshy fun bits hanging under my arms legs and stomach it doesn’t matter because those are good problems to have (my 48 is more likely a 44 already if you removed the sagging skin).

I’ve also pretty much decided to just go with the flow for a while. I’m just excited to see where life takes me on this roller coaster of a journey and as I turn the page I welcome the next chapters of my life with an open mind and enthusiastic optimism. That said my life does have very little room for what the kids simply refer to as “drama” have added that to my very small list of things I will not spend any of my short precious time on this earth tolerating. And when I say my list is small I mean it…

The things I will not tolerate are:

• infidelity
• that thing the kids call “drama”
• domestic violence
• bigotry of any sort

And before you smirk, yes I’m well aware not tolerating bigotry is itself a paradoxical irony that cannot be undone, but it is what it is. And in the end I am who I am after all. This reminds me of a friend’s recent facebook status which simply asked a question about flaws in how they relate to how you relate and that really got me thinking. And as I sat for a moment trying to work up my usually off the cuff quip I discovered something about myself or rediscovered something I should say. I remembered for the first time in quite a few years I simply have no flaws….and that’s not to say I’m flawless (far from it) but this one innocent facebook status reminded me of an old blog serious I wrote (on greymatter if that tells you how long ago this was) titled “Back to the Basics.” It was a short mini blog series I wrote about on along defunct blog where I talked about my simple philosophies for life and while people to change over time, myself included, these simple philosophes have not. Below is that facebook status…

Maybe someday I’ll rewrite those “Back to the Basics” blog entries that deal with my views on everything from regret to soul mates to basic human equality, but for now I really must bid this already rather lengthy entry adieu.

rev (320 pounds)

It’s been a while since I posted an update because I’ve been a bit busy and while I meant to do a video for this post if I didn’t write something today it would be another week before I posted so I wanted to share some updates with you all.

So I seem to have misplaced some weight, 5 pounds to be exact. I had it before Thanksgiving Weekend, but now it’s gone…So not only did I manage to enjoy my Thanksgiving Weekend with family but I also managed to lose weight doing it. I even had a bite (and I mean one bite) of apple pie on Thursday and one bit of Pumpkin Pie on Friday.

So where does that leave us? Well it means that soon I’ll drop below 300 pounds (maybe even before my next checkup) and it means my waist has dropped another couple inches or so and my 54” jeans are now baggy and falling off me as I’ve dipped down well into the upper 40s.

It also means I’ve started working out about 3 days a week. Monday/Wednesday/Friday I get up at 4:45am and get ready for the gym. I do 10 minutes on the elliptical followed by a “30 Minute Express Circuit Workout” which is basically 60 seconds of cardio (stepping stations) every other minute with a weight machine sandwiched in the middle. I work pretty much every muscle group this way (seated row, leg press, leg curl, ab curl, biceps curl, leg extension, chest press, shoulder press, lat pull down, and triceps extension). Once done I do a “cool down” 5-10 minute elliptical session and then I’m out. For the more serious workout types this will seem rather tame, but for someone who couldn’t walk a year ago or so this is pretty damn good.

Which brings me to my missing 5 pounds and my holiday weekend. Last week while working out I was chatting up a friend and he said, “oh man I feel bad for you this year for Thanksgiving.” When I asked why he talked about the how much he loved eating until his pants button popped off, etc. I told him it didn’t bother me because I’ve had 30+ years of doing that which is how I ended up in the predicament I’m in now, but the truth is..I wasn’t honestly sure how’d I feel about the food aspect of the holiday and as I drove the 5ish hours to my sister’s house Thanksgiving morning this thought stuck with me most of the way there.

I ate two (what would be considered) thanksgiving meals at my sisters house. Once on the day of and again a whole new dinner on Friday. And I sampled pretty much every dish. I ate turkey of course, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce (not the can shaped crap) sweet potatoes, quiche, apple and pumpkin pie, and the list continues. And I enjoyed every single solitary bite. The food was amazing even if the entirety of my two days of eating was still less than an average person’s dinner off holiday I came out of my experience not feeling left out, not feeling like I’d been deprived of some ritualistic eating right of passage, and in the end smaller…5 pounds smaller in fact.

I made gingerbread cookies (didn’t eat any) with my niece and nephew. I chased around the house and generally had a great time. I met some of my sister and brother-in-law’s friends and enjoyed their company, especially when Keoko (I’m likely spelling that wrong) read my tattoo from across the room perfectly (validating I managed to pick the right characters) and talking to her husband Chuck and on and on….so no, this Thanksgiving was not ruled by food or my addiction to it, it was ruled by joy companionship and family. Do I feel I missed out this year? No, not even in the slightest.

~rev (322 pounds)

I went to a Halloween party over the weekend. It’s a party I used to go to every year but haven’t really been but once in the last 4 or 5 years I’d guess. This is as you may have guess entirely due to my weight and my inability to walk much. Sometimes when you’re in that mode you don’t realize just how much affect weight like that can have on your social life, never mind the obvious health issues. But I went and this year I went all out (or as much all out as I could) but doing two customs. I went as Dr. Evil dressed up as Heisenberg. I even made some Raspberry flavored rock candy (though I didn’t eat any) for the party to go along with my theme. I took several pictures of this Doctor themed party and put them over on my new site rexpixel.com if you’d like to see them.

I recently hit a bit of a plateau on the weight loss front but that seems to have passed as I’ve dropped several pounds since my last post and I put on a par of my old pants that I forgot to donate (so I’ll do that soon) because sometimes I still see myself as much larger than I actually am. Now I won’t say I’m small by any definition at 335 pounds, but that’s 220 pounds less than I was barely more than a year ago I have to remind myself that as one number goes up and the other number goes down I am smaller…a lot smaller. In fact the pair of pants I put on were too small for me a year ago by a long shot. The pant’s waist size was 64” and by my account, my actual waist size last October was around 82” or more than a FOOT bigger than the pants. Needless to say sweats and lounge pants were my clothing option of choice back then. Well today I’m wearing 54” pants that are too big and if it were not for the extra skin I’d likely be well under the 50” mark. In fact I put on a pair of 46” Shorts and was able to button them, though wearing them at this point would be nearly impossible because I could not breathe. But this means I’m down to roughly a 48” waist or nearly HALF the man I used to be so to speak. So back to those 64” Levi’s I put on…look at this image, as I think it says a whole lot more than I could ever say at this point. Oh and I’m drilling another hole in my belt today.

So all in all I must say I’m feeling a bit surreal after looking at myself in those ridiculously large pants and more to the point remembering those pants were too small for my big fat ass not all that long ago. Now while I know I’ve got a long road ahead still I’m less than 60 pounds of weight loss from literally being HALF the man I used to be, and trust me when I say a party will be had when my weight hits 277 pounds because not only has it been more than a decade since I weighed that amount but I dropping half of my total body weight will be (no matter how much else I lose) the single biggest accomplishment in this already incredible journey I’ve been on thus far. And to be honest that list of accomplishments is growing more and more every single day. So I’d like to end this post with my weight loss list. They say you should make goals, and they don’t need to be lofty either, just things in life you want to do as you lose weight. I’ve taken that to heart and I’d like to share with you my list and it’s progress thus far. And while I have no end goal weight in mind the picture above is me at around 230 pounds if I remember correctly, so I think I’d be more than happy to see that number again, but honestly at this point I’m already so far ahead of the game I’m already happy with where I’m at and every single pound lost moving forward is just icing on the cake I can’t eat any more. ; )

LIFE GOALS:

Stop taking so many medications	I no longer take 3 of them
Stop emotional eating.	I’ve Stopped
Stop board eating.	I’ve Stopped

BIG GOALS:

Go to a tech conference again	I’m going to TechEd 2014
Buy a motorcycle & ride	I plan to do this in 2015
Take a trip to Ireland or Germany	I plan to do this in 2015

EVERYDAY GOALS:

Take a shower without pain.	Every single day!
Be active with niece and nephew	Done and will do again.
No longer need to plan my steps	I walk 3 or more miles a day!
Fit and drive my car comfortably	Or in my case even a smaller one!
Mow my own yard	As soon as spring hits I’ll do it.
Clean my own house	Done
Be more social with friends	I go out 3 or more times a week
Take day trips (Nashville, etc.)	I do this as often as I can now

Oh and Happy Halloween everyone. I’m going trick-or-treating with my friends Stacy & Richard and their daughter Emma. While it won’t be my normal walking night it’s still exercise and more importantly it’s me getting out and being social, which is never a bad thing.

~rev (335 Pounds)

On September 22nd I was in a rather nasty accident. A woman blew through her red light and hit me full speed on the passenger side of my truck. The damage was sever enough to total my 2006 Dodge Durango and while I’m fine I do have some stiffness still around my from being tossed about.  The only physical issue this brought on was my need to take some pain killers again for the first time in several weeks, which is a bit of a bummer, but on the bright side no one was seriously injured (beyond the vehicles). Also hopefully tomorrow I’ll be picking up my new ride and get out of this awful rental car and into my new (to me) 2011 Audi Q5S.

Durango Accident VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Luckily I was recovered enough from the accident to enter in the 3K walk at this year’s Apple Festival in Erwin, TN. And much to my surprise I came in 3rd place in my age group (30-39 yr.) and even have a tiny little trophy to prove it. This was my first official event and I have to say I enjoyed it thoroughly and plan to do more of these in the future as well as my 5K goal in March of next year.

finally this update doesn’t include any real weight loss (I’ve dropped a pound since last week), in fact I put on a few ounces this morning in the form of a full set of metal braces (uppers and lowers). That’s right I’m 35 years old and I got braces for the first time in my life…and it’s okay to laugh…I did. But it was something I had to do as my cross bite and over bite are starting to cause more trouble as I get older so I figured it was time to get that fixed.

~rev (347 pounds)

One year ago today (approximately) I started my journey to finding my lean…now while I will be the first one to tell you I’ve not found it yet, not completely anyway, the journey thus far has been nothing short of amazing. This time last year I couldn’t walk 100 feet and in just 4 days I’ll be walking in my first official event. I will be at the 3K Walk at the Unicoi County Apple Festival and while I’m not even concerned where I finish in the numbers I’m just super excited to be able to do it at all.

30 inches ago my waist size was around an 82..yes I said 82 which means I was bigger around than I was tall, in fact stretched out I was bigger around than many NBA basketball players are tall. now I’m down to about a 52” waist which is still big mind you but it means that in all likelihood if I can keep up the weight loss I’ll be in the 40s by the end of the year and that’s simply fantastic.

18 is the number of holes currently in the belt I’m wearing right now as I write this having just drilled out the newest hole only moments ago. I couldn’t even wear this belt a year ago as I was too big for it…and most of my clothes for that matter. This belt will be with me to the end. The picture to the right was taken less than a year ago…I had already lost 30-40 pounds but that was still more than 160 pounds ago. (Oh and yes I was at a Tea Party with my best friend’s daughter…don’t judge)

And finally 207 pounds…that’s the total amount of weight I’ve lost in the last 12 months. That number is astonishing, and yet I still have more to lose, how much more I honestly can’t tell you. I only know that I’m going the right direction and I feel better right now than I have in years and I will know what my end game weight will be when I get there.

So one year down, and hopefully many more years to go, but I must admit I’m excited and nervous about year two. I bought a recumbent bike for the winter and a treadmill and a set of those elastic weight bands to exercise with, and I can’t believe I’m even saying this out loud, but I’ve also started to look into yoga classes…though I’ve not gone to any yet. So here’s to another year of weight loss, exercise and healthy living!

~rev (348 pounds)

So you will see below my picture isn’t the normal one…it’s a hint at what I’m doing for Halloween, though I may very likely need to get some help with my makeup. Pictures will come in October I promise but no hints before hand.

Oh and in other news I’ve officially lost more than 200 pounds! And the timing is perfect since my 6 month follow-up in Nashville as this Thursday. Now I’ve not lost 200 pounds in 6 months I’ve lost that in just under one year though. Since my surgery in April I’ve lost just shy of 130 pounds which is completely amazing. I know I have a long road of weigh loss ahead…especially as the loss slows down but I’m am confident in my diligence to keep it up.

So while this isn’t a big update in terms of the volume of news at hand it most certainly is a big update BIG update in terms of weight gone!

~rev (354 pounds)